Chapter 10 - Claire Takes Off the Ring
Claire Whitman asked Nolan to meet her at the Art Institute café.
Neutral territory.
No family.
No lawyers.
No children.
No history except the history they had made together.
She sat by the window wearing a navy coat.
The engagement ring was not on her hand.
Nolan noticed although he already knew.
“You look tired,” she said.
“I am.”
“How are the girls?”
“Good.”
She smiled.
“You say ‘the girls’ differently now.”
“How?”
“Like everyone should know who you mean.”
Nolan sat.
“They’re my daughters.”
“I know.”
A server brought coffee.
Claire waited until he left.
“Wade?”
“Terminated.”
“And the money?”
“Investigation ongoing.”
“Is he going to prison?”
“Possibly.”
Claire nodded.
Then silence.
Nolan knew why they were there.
Still, he didn’t want to speak first.
Claire did.
“I love you.”
He looked at her.
“I love you too.”
“I believe that.”
That surprised him.
Claire smiled sadly.
“You thought I was going to say you never loved me?”
“I wasn’t sure.”
“No. You did.”
She wrapped both hands around her coffee.
“And I loved you.”
Past tense.
Nolan heard it.
Claire saw him hear it.
“But love doesn’t always mean two people should marry.”
His throat tightened.
“Claire.”
She shook her head gently.
“I watched you at dinner with your family before Christmas.”
He waited.
“You were there physically. But part of you was always somewhere else.”
“That wasn’t Maya.”
“I know.”
“What was it?”
“Control.”
Nolan frowned.
“You loved certainty more than you loved almost anything.”
The statement was uncomfortable because it was true.
Claire continued.
“That’s why we worked.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m predictable.”
“That sounds insulting.”
“It isn’t.”
She smiled.
“I’m organized. Independent. Socially appropriate. I never needed much from you emotionally because I had my own life.”
“I admired that.”
“I know.”
“And?”
“And Maya needed you to be emotionally present.”
Nolan looked away.
“You couldn’t do it.”
“No.”
“Then she became pregnant.”
Nolan stared at the table.
Claire’s voice softened.
“And suddenly you had the perfect excuse to believe she was dangerous.”
“Wade—”
“Wade exploited it.”
Nolan looked up.
Claire nodded.
“Yes. Wade manipulated you. But he picked a lock that already existed.”
That hurt because it was almost exactly what Maya had been trying to make Nolan understand.
Claire reached across the table.
Touched his hand.
“I’m not saying this to punish you.”
“I know.”
“I’m saying I don’t think you’re the same man now.”
Nolan looked at her.
“Then why leave?”
“Because the man you’re becoming belongs somewhere else.”
His throat tightened.
“Claire.”
“You’re going to fall in love with your daughters so completely that every priority you’ve ever had will reorganize.”
“It already has.”
“I know.”
“And Maya?”
Claire looked directly at him.
“You never stopped loving her.”
Nolan instinctively began to deny it.
Then stopped.
Claire smiled faintly.
“Thank you for not lying.”
“I don’t know what she feels.”
“This isn’t about her.”
“What?”
“You keep thinking the important question is whether Maya will take you back.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No.”
Claire released his hand.
“The important question is whether you can become someone worthy of being taken back.”
Nolan swallowed.
“That’s harsh.”
“Probably.”
“Everyone has become brutally wise since Christmas.”
“I blame your grandmother.”
That made them both laugh.
Then Claire reached into her bag.
She placed the ring box on the table.
Nolan stared.
“You don’t have to—”
“Yes.”
“Keep it.”
“No.”
“Claire.”
“I’m not keeping a symbol of a future we’re not choosing.”
His chest hurt.
He picked up the box.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t.”
“Apparently I say that too much.”
“Yes.”
She smiled.
“Try thank you.”
Nolan looked at her.
“For what?”
“For loving you when you needed a safe kind of love.”
His eyes filled unexpectedly.
“Thank you.”
Claire nodded.
“Better.”
They sat another twenty minutes.
Talked about ordinary things.
Her sister.
His mother.
Work.
Eventually Claire stood.
At the door, Nolan said, “What are you going to tell people?”
“The truth.”
“Which truth?”
“That we realized we shouldn’t get married.”
“And Maya?”
“Is none of their business.”
He smiled.
“Thank you.”
Claire paused.
“One more thing.”
“What?”
“Don’t run directly from me to Maya and declare eternal love.”
Nolan almost laughed.
“I wasn’t planning—”
“You were absolutely planning something dramatic eventually.”
He looked offended.
“I’m not dramatic.”
Claire stared at him.
“You flew to Paris because a restaurant canceled our reservation.”
“That was different.”
“It was dinner.”
“They were disrespectful.”
Claire shook her head.
“Give Maya time.”
“I will.”
“And give yourself time.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
She kissed his cheek.
Then left.
Nolan remained by the door.
Sad.
Grateful.
And strangely peaceful.
That evening he told Maya.
Not because she asked.
Because he did not want her hearing from someone else.
“We ended the engagement.”
Maya stopped folding a child’s sweater.
“When?”
“Today.”
Her face changed.
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be.”
“I am.”
“It was mutual.”
“Nothing is mutual equally.”
Nolan smiled faintly.
“That sounds like experience.”
“It is.”
He sat across the room.
“I’m not telling you because I expect anything.”
Maya immediately became guarded.
“Good.”
“I mean that.”
“Nolan—”
“I won’t ask you for another chance.”
She looked surprised.
“At least not now.”
There it was.
She rolled her eyes.
“You almost made it.”
He smiled.
“Sorry.”
“You really need a new word.”
“Working on it.”
Holly ran into the room carrying two shoes that did not match.
“Daddy!”
Nolan looked toward her.
Every time she said it, something inside him rearranged.
“Yes?”
“Outside.”
“It’s dark.”
“Outside!”
Maya sighed.
“She wants to see snow.”
Nolan stood.
“I can take her.”
Maya hesitated.
Then nodded.
“I’ll get Hope.”
Five minutes later all four stood behind the apartment building.
Snow fell gently.
Holly screamed with delight.
Hope held Nolan’s finger.
Maya watched the girls.
Nolan watched Maya.
She sensed it.
“Don’t.”
“What?”
“Look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“You know.”
He truly didn’t.
She pulled her scarf tighter.
“Nolan, Claire ended an engagement today.”
“I know.”
“You don’t get to turn around and build a fantasy with me.”
“I’m not.”
“Good.”
He stepped closer.
“I don’t want a fantasy.”
Maya looked at him.
“I had one of those once.”
“And?”
“It broke.”
Nolan nodded.
“So if anything ever happens between us again, I want it to be real.”
Her breath caught.
He continued.
“Real means slow.”
Maya stared.
“Real means you don’t owe me forgiveness.”
Snow collected in her hair.
“Real means I earn every inch.”
Her eyes glistened.
Then Holly threw snow directly into Nolan’s face.
Maya burst out laughing.
Nolan wiped his eyes.
“Excellent timing.”
For the first time in two years, Maya laughed with him instead of at the past.
And Nolan understood Claire had been right.
He could not rebuild what he and Maya once had.
That relationship was gone.
May you like
If they ever found each other again, it would have to be something new.
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