Chapter 4 - Eighteen Years of Being Available
Victor remembered a snowstorm in 2014.
Chicago had nearly shut down.
Flights canceled.
Schools closed.
Roads disappearing under white.
Victor had a meeting downtown he insisted could not wait.
Samuel arrived ten minutes early.
Victor remembered looking at the snow on Samuel’s shoulders.
“You drove through this?”
Samuel brushed it off.
“I generally drive through weather.”
Victor had laughed.
He never asked where Samuel had been before arriving.
He remembered Christmas Eve in 2017.
A supplier crisis.
Two hours became six.
When Victor finally left the office, Samuel was waiting downstairs.
“Family waiting?” Victor asked.
Samuel said, “They know my job.”
Victor had interpreted that as reassurance.
Now it sounded different.
He remembered a funeral.
His mother’s sister.
Victor sat in the sedan afterward for nearly an hour without telling Samuel to drive.
Samuel waited.
No questions.
No clock checking.
No impatience.
When Victor finally said, “Home,” Samuel simply answered, “Yes, sir.”
Victor remembered the night his marriage officially ended.
He had walked out of his lawyer’s office at 11:20 p.m.
Samuel had been there.
Of course he had.
That phrase came back repeatedly.
Of course he had.
Victor had built a career around expecting Samuel’s presence as naturally as electricity.
Flip the switch.
The light comes on.
He had never thought about the power plant.
Three days after their phone call, Victor returned to Lakeshore Children’s.
This time he did not stand near the brochure rack.
He walked directly toward Samuel.
Samuel saw him from across the waiting room.
His face changed immediately.
Not fear.
Annoyance.
Victor found that strangely comforting.
Lucy sat beside Samuel drawing on a clipboard.
She looked up.
“Grandpa.”
“I see him.”
Victor stopped a few feet away.
“Samuel.”
“What are you doing here?”
Victor reached into his coat.
Samuel watched carefully.
Victor took out the pink hearing aid.
Lucy gasped.
“My star one!”
She jumped from the chair.
Victor held it out.
Lucy looked at Samuel.
Samuel nodded.
She took it.
“I thought I lost it.”
Victor crouched slightly.
“You left it with your grandfather.”
Lucy frowned.
“He loses stuff.”
Samuel looked offended.
“You lose things.”
“I’m seven.”
“That’s not a legal defense.”
Lucy grinned.
Victor smiled before he could stop himself.
Samuel noticed.
Victor stood.
Lucy examined the hearing aid.
“There’s still a star.”
“There is.”
“I put it there.”
“I guessed.”
“Purple is my favorite.”
Samuel pointed toward her coat.
“Yesterday it was yellow.”
“I can have two.”
Victor looked at Samuel.
“She argues like you.”
Samuel gave him a flat look.
“No.”
Lucy tugged Samuel’s sleeve.
“Can you put it in?”
Samuel took the device.
He checked it carefully, cleaned the tubing with a small cloth from Lucy’s backpack and adjusted the battery.
Victor watched.
The procedure was practiced.
Familiar.
Samuel fitted the device behind Lucy’s ear.
“How’s that?”
Lucy tilted her head.
“Too loud.”
Samuel adjusted it.
“Now?”
“Better.”
She smiled.
Samuel smiled back.
Then checked his watch.
Victor saw it.
Lucy saw it too.
“You’re doing it again.”
Samuel looked down.
“Doing what?”
“The watch.”
“I’m checking the time.”
“You always check the time.”
Samuel shrugged.
“Time is useful.”
Lucy rolled her eyes in the devastating way only children could.
“You’re not even working.”
Victor felt the words hit.
Samuel looked toward him.
For a second, both men said nothing.
Lucy returned to her drawing.
Victor sat two chairs away.
Samuel remained standing.
“Can we talk?”
“We’re talking.”
“Without a seven-year-old critic?”
Lucy looked up.
“I’m listening.”
Samuel sighed.
Victor almost laughed.
A nurse called Lucy’s name.
Samuel’s daughter Rachel came from the hallway and took Lucy’s hand.
Rachel looked Victor over.
“You’re him.”
Victor nodded.
“That sounds promising.”
Rachel did not smile.
Samuel said, “Rachel.”
“No. It’s fine.”
Victor looked at her.
“You can say it.”
Rachel folded her arms.
“My father worked for you eighteen years.”
“Yes.”
“He missed birthdays.”
Samuel interrupted.
“My decisions.”
Rachel continued.
“School events.”
“Rachel.”
“Christmas dinners.”
Victor looked at Samuel.
Samuel’s jaw tightened.
Rachel softened slightly.
“I’m not saying you forced him.”
Victor nodded.
“I know.”
Rachel looked surprised.
Victor continued.
“I’m starting to understand that might be part of the problem.”
Nobody had an answer to that.
The nurse called Lucy again.
Rachel led her away.
Samuel sat.
Victor remained beside him.
The waiting room filled with ordinary sounds.
Shoes squeaking on polished floors.
A vending machine humming.
A child whining about stickers.
Victor looked at Samuel.
“I was wrong.”
Samuel stared ahead.
Victor waited.
Samuel said, “About which part?”
Victor gave him a look.
Samuel almost smiled.
Victor continued.
“I was wrong to decide what you’d done before hearing you.”
“You did hear me.”
“I heard what you refused to say.”
“That’s different.”
Victor nodded.
“Yes.”
Samuel finally looked at him.
Victor took a breath.
“I’m sorry.”
Samuel studied his face.
Victor continued.
“For accusing you.”
A small nod.
“For firing you before I understood what was happening.”
Another nod.
Victor looked toward the hallway.
“And for making you think saying you needed time for your granddaughter would make you less valuable.”
Samuel’s expression shifted.
There it was.
The real wound.
Samuel looked down at his hands.
“You never said that.”
“No.”
“That matters.”
“I know.”
Samuel leaned back.
“You want me to blame you for every time I stayed late?”
“No.”
“Good.”
Victor glanced at him.
Samuel continued.
“I made choices too.”
Victor waited.
“I liked being the guy who never said no.”
“Why?”
Samuel smiled faintly.
“Same reason you like being the guy nobody has to rescue.”
Victor almost objected.
Then stopped.
Samuel saw it.
“Exactly.”
Victor laughed once.
Samuel continued.
“I was good at the job. I liked being good at it.”
“You were.”
“Am.”
Victor looked at him.
Samuel realized what he had said.
Victor smiled.
Samuel rolled his eyes.
“Don’t.”
Victor’s smile faded.
“Come back.”
“No.”
Victor blinked.
The answer came too quickly.
“Sam.”
“No.”
“More money.”
“No.”
“Better benefits.”
“No.”
“Second driver.”
Samuel hesitated.
“That would’ve been useful twelve years ago.”
Victor leaned forward.
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
Victor stared.
Samuel looked toward the hallway.
“I don’t want the old job back.”
Victor’s jaw tightened.
“Then what do you want?”
Samuel checked his watch.
Victor noticed.
Samuel noticed Victor noticing.
He lowered his hand.
“I want my workday to end.”
Victor said nothing.
Samuel continued.
“I want to know that when I’m done, I’m done.”
“That can be arranged.”
“You say that now.”
“I mean it.”
Samuel looked at him.
Victor continued.
“If you need time for Lucy—”
“That’s not the whole thing.”
Victor stopped.
Samuel’s voice became quieter.
“I don’t want special permission to have a life.”
The sentence sat between them.
Victor looked away.
Samuel continued.
“I don’t want you doing me a favor every time I leave on time.”
Victor nodded slowly.
“That’s fair.”
“I don’t want a bigger bonus because I stayed late and then guilt when I don’t.”
Victor’s mouth tightened.
“Have I done that?”
“Not directly.”
“Then—”
“You don’t have to say everything directly.”
Victor closed his mouth.
That was irritatingly true.
Samuel stood.
Lucy and Rachel were coming back.
Victor stood too.
“Coffee tomorrow.”
Samuel frowned.
“What?”
“You tell me what the job would have to look like.”
Samuel studied him.
“Coffee.”
“Yes.”
“Not your office.”
Victor sighed.
“Fine.”
“Not the car.”
“Fine.”
Samuel named a diner on the South Side.
Victor raised an eyebrow.
“You’re making me cross the city for coffee.”
“You fired me.”
Victor nodded.
“Fair.”
Samuel reached for Lucy’s backpack.
“Ten.”
Victor checked his calendar automatically.
Then stopped.
Samuel saw it.
“Problem?”
“No.”
Victor slipped his phone back into his pocket.
“Ten.”
The next morning, Victor arrived at 9:48.
Samuel was already sitting by the window.
Victor stopped beside the booth.
“You’re early.”
Samuel took a sip.
“You’re surprised?”
Victor sat.
May you like
For the first time in eighteen years, Victor Bellini had come to Samuel’s schedule.
And Samuel had not brought the keys.
