Chapter 6 - Six Seconds Were Only the Beginning
Harris talked.
For eleven hours.
Once he started, fear did what guilt had failed to accomplish.
He gave investigators names, financial records, old contacts and accounts.
The private contractor involved in Falcon Ridge no longer existed under the same name, but several people connected to it did.
Some were retired.
Some had disappeared.
Two remained active in businesses with government contracts.
Rachel wasn't allowed to know everything that followed.
For once, she was grateful.
She'd spent too much of her life believing knowledge meant responsibility.
Sometimes handing the problem to someone else was strength too.
Three days after Harris's arrest, Rachel sat on her porch drinking coffee.
Dean arrived carrying muffins.
She eyed the box.
"Bribery?"
"Peace offering."
"You already apologized."
"I know."
"So?"
He sat on the porch step.
"I owe you a better one."
Rachel waited.
Dean looked toward the yard.
"I've been thinking about what happened."
"The mat?"
"Before the mat."
That surprised her.
"I kept telling everybody I was embarrassed because you dropped me."
"You were."
"Yeah. But that's not the part I should've been embarrassed about."
Rachel said nothing.
"You told me no."
"Several times."
"I heard you."
Rachel looked at him.
Dean continued.
"I just decided my joke mattered more."
There it was.
No excuse.
No qualification.
"I teach teenagers at my gym," he said. "I tell them discipline means controlling yourself."
Rachel sipped her coffee.
"And?"
"Apparently I needed my own lesson."
"Expensive lesson."
"My shoulder agrees."
Rachel laughed.
Dean smiled.
Then his expression became serious.
"I also told Sophie something."
Rachel's smile disappeared.
"What?"
"Relax. I told her her mom is terrifying."
Rachel stared at him.
Dean laughed.
"She already knew."
Rachel threw a napkin at him.
Later that afternoon, Daniel came by.
He had news.
The Falcon Ridge case was formally under review.
Caleb's name would be cleared of the implication that his team had failed through operational error.
Tessa Grant had been contacted.
So had Luis Mendoza.
Rachel sat silently.
"Caleb?"
Daniel nodded.
"His family will know."
Rachel looked away.
That mattered.
More than punishment.
More than secrets.
Caleb's mother had died believing her son made a mistake that cost lives.
They couldn't give her the truth now.
But his sister would know.
His nephews would know.
History would know.
Rachel cried quietly.
Daniel pretended to be fascinated by a tree.
She appreciated that.
Then he said, "There's something I owe you."
"What?"
"An apology."
Rachel wiped her face.
"For?"
"I trained all of you to believe you were responsible for everything."
"That was the job."
"No."
Daniel looked at her.
"Responsibility was the job. Omnipotence wasn't."
Rachel remained silent.
"You couldn't save Caleb."
"I know."
"Do you?"
She didn't answer.
Daniel leaned forward.
"Harris betrayed the team. Other people exploited that betrayal. Caleb died because of choices you didn't make."
Rachel's throat tightened.
"You survived because you did your job."
"Daniel—"
"Listen."
She did.
"You spent fourteen years turning survival into a crime."
That sentence found the part of her she'd kept protected longest.
Rachel stared at her hands.
"I left."
"You were allowed to."
"I changed my name."
"You were allowed to."
"I buried everything."
"That part was your choice."
Rachel nodded.
Daniel's voice softened.
"And maybe it saved you for a while."
"For a while."
"Now?"
Rachel looked through the window.
Sophie was inside doing homework.
Ordinary.
Beautifully ordinary.
"Now I think I'm tired of being divided in half."
That evening, Rachel made dinner.
Sophie pushed peas around her plate.
"Can I ask something?"
"Always."
"Are you going back?"
"Where?"
"To being Mara."
Rachel thought about it.
"No."
Sophie frowned.
"But you said—"
"I'm not going back because she never left."
Sophie stopped moving her fork.
Rachel continued.
"Mara isn't another person. She's me when I was younger. Rachel is me now."
"Which name do you like?"
"Rachel."
"Why?"
Rachel smiled.
"Because you learned to say it before you learned to walk."
Sophie smiled too.
Then she asked the question Rachel had been expecting.
"Will you teach me?"
"Teach you what?"
Sophie mimicked throwing someone.
Rachel nearly choked on her water.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because the first lesson isn't throwing people."
"What is it?"
"Leaving."
"That's boring."
"It keeps you alive."
Sophie groaned.
Rachel laughed.
"Fine. I'll teach you basics."
"Tomorrow?"
"Saturday."
"Tomorrow is Saturday."
Rachel stared.
Sophie grinned.
"Nice try."
The following morning, Rachel returned to the community center.
The mat was there.
Dean had borrowed it.
Sophie stood across from Rachel.
Daniel watched from a chair.
Melissa brought coffee.
Dean stood nearby with his arms crossed.
"Okay," Rachel said. "First rule."
Sophie bounced excitedly.
"Don't fight unless you have to?"
Rachel smiled.
"Good."
"Second rule?"
"Never underestimate somebody because of how they look."
Dean raised his hand.
"Can confirm."
Everyone laughed.
Rachel laughed too.
That sound surprised her.
For fourteen years, memories of training had carried gunfire, grief and Caleb's final question.
Now another memory was forming over them.
Her daughter.
Morning sunlight.
Cheap gym mats.
Coffee.
People she loved.
Maybe memories didn't disappear.
Maybe you simply gave them company.
Rachel was beginning to understand that.
But one conversation remained.
One she'd avoided since the festival.
Sophie had called her father.
And Ethan Mercer was arriving that afternoon.
He knew enough to understand Rachel had lied about parts of her past.
He didn't yet know why.
When Rachel saw his rental car pull into the driveway at three seventeen, she felt more nervous than she had facing Harris.
Ethan stepped out.
He looked at Rachel for several seconds.
Then at Sophie.
Then back at Rachel.
"We need to talk."
Rachel nodded.
"Yeah."
May you like
This time, she wasn't going to hide.
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