Chapter 13 - Clara's First Birthday
I went.
Not for Lukas.
Not for Ingrid.
For myself.
Clara's party was held in Sophia's backyard.
Twenty people.
Balloons.
Cupcakes.
A ridiculous pink crown Clara refused to wear.
When I arrived, Sophia hugged me.
“Thank you.”
“Don't make this weird.”
“Wouldn't dream of it.”
Lukas approached slowly.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
He looked healthier.
Calmer.
“Thomas?”
I blinked.
“How do you know about Thomas?”
“Sophia.”
From across the yard, Sophia suddenly became very interested in arranging napkins.
I laughed.
“Yes. Thomas.”
“Serious?”
“None of your business.”
“Fair.”
Then Lukas smiled.
A real smile.
“I'm glad you're happy.”
I studied him.
For once, there seemed to be no hidden request behind the sentence.
“Thank you.”
Ingrid arrived later.
She kept her distance until I approached her.
“You can say hello.”
Her eyes widened.
“Hello.”
“Hello, Ingrid.”
She looked toward Clara.
“She's beautiful.”
“She is.”
“I've been respecting Sophia's rules.”
“I heard.”
“It's difficult.”
“I imagine.”
She almost laughed.
“I suppose I deserved that.”
We stood together without pretending the past hadn't happened.
That was more honest than forgiveness performed for appearances.
Then Clara crawled toward us.
She stopped beside my shoe and looked up.
Bright eyes.
Chocolate frosting on one cheek.
She reached toward me.
My breath caught.
For one second, Ingrid's old prediction echoed in my mind.
She'll fall in love with it.
I hated that sentence.
Then I realized something.
Ingrid had been wrong about the most important part.
Love wasn't the problem.
Control was.
I could love a child without owning her.
I could care without surrendering myself.
I crouched.
“Hello, Clara.”
She grabbed my finger.
I laughed.
Sophia watched from across the yard.
No one told me what this moment meant.
No one assigned me a role.
No one said I had to become anything.
For the first time, I could simply feel.
And what I felt wasn't grief.
It was peace.
Then Thomas arrived carrying a gift.
Lukas raised an eyebrow.
“You invited him?”
“No.”
Thomas held up his phone.
“Sophia did.”
I looked at Sophia.
She grinned.
Traitor.
Thomas joined me.
Clara immediately tried to steal his watch.
“She likes you,” I said.
“She's an excellent judge of character.”
“Don't get confident.”
He smiled.
Later, while everyone sang happy birthday, I looked around the yard.
A year earlier, these people had represented betrayal.
Now the relationships were different.
Some broken.
Some repaired.
Some transformed.
But all honest.
I thought that might be enough.
Then Thomas slipped his hand into mine.
He didn't squeeze.
May you like
He waited.
I chose to hold it.
