Chapter 12 - The Apology Without Excuses
Mom eventually asked Emily whether she could apologize properly.
Not in a letter.
Face-to-face.
Emily agreed.
We met in my living room.
Mom sat across from her.
“I’m sorry I made you carry something that was too heavy.”
Emily listened.
“I’m sorry I let the boys laugh at you.”
Mom’s voice shook.
“I’m sorry I told you that you didn’t deserve shelter.”
Emily looked down.
“And I’m sorry I lied and said your mother agreed with me.”
That was the hardest part.
Mom started crying.
But she didn’t ask Emily to comfort her.
She continued.
“You deserved to feel safe. I was the adult. It was my responsibility.”
Emily looked at her.
“Why did you do it?”
Mom answered truthfully.
“Because I thought being harsh made children stronger.”
“Did it?”
Mom shook her head.
“No. It made you afraid.”
Emily nodded.
Then she asked, “Are you going to do it to other kids?”
“No.”
“How do I know?”
“Because your mom and your aunt will hold me accountable. And because I’m learning to stop when I’m angry.”
Emily considered this.
Then she said, “Okay.”
Mom wiped her eyes.
“Does that mean you forgive me?”
Emily looked surprised.
“I didn’t say that.”
I almost smiled.
Mom nodded.
“You’re right.”
That was another sign of change.
No pressure.
No demand.
No expectation that an apology purchased forgiveness.
Emily eventually stood.
“I’m hungry.”
The emotional conversation was apparently over.
I made sandwiches.
Mom helped.
May you like
Emily chose what she wanted on hers.
Nobody told her she had to earn it.
